Today has been a good day, Mistress and I went into town and then we came back and watched the awesome 'Tool Academy 3'. Just unbelievable trash-TV! Perfect for Sunday afternoon...
Anyway, a little later I came downstairs and asked Mistress R if I could please worship her feet. She said that I could and I lay on the floor and lovingly kissed her feet and sucked her toes for 10-15 minutes, it was so wonderful, I loved every single second of it. Mistress R really has truly beautiful feet, in fact it's not just my opinion, apparently the pedicurist said the same thing too! They really are gorgeous, perfectly proportioned and just so pretty. I adore them.
So after that, we lay together on our new long sofa. Me sitting up and Mistress R leaning back on me with my arm laying on her. after a while she turned over and started to rub my cock through my shorts, then she slid her hand up the leg of my shorts and started stroking my balls. Then she got up to go to the kitchen and when she came back she told me she wanted my shorts off. Well, she didn't need to ask twice and my cock was already starting to swell. I sat back down on the leather sofa and she knelt on the floor and started to suck my cock, which was Heavenly as usual. Then she surprised me by out of the blue giving my cock a few slaps, which made me harder still (I love getting my cock slapped) and then she went back to sucking and licking my cock, in a really hot way too, kinda slutty, which was pretty awesome!
Some more slapping followed and then she sucked my balls, which I don't know that she's ever done before, that completely blew me away, and then she started rubbing my cock with a featherlight touch, finally she leaned forward and I pulled her to me, eager to taste my cock on her breath. Then she sat back and gave me a few more seconds of wonderful teasing and then kissed me again, my cock throbbing against her gorgeous tits through her T-shirt. Then it was over and once again I was left breathing hard as I was denied once more.
This was my reward for losing weight again this week, and that just makes me want to lose even more next week!!!
It's funny, when we were walking this afternoon we were discussing why we thought my weightloss was succesful this time where so many times it has failed. We agreed that it was partly starting at the right time, just at the start of the better weather, partly the discipline of doing my blog every single day, the fact that I've exercised every day bar a couple of days (and sometimes more than once), and of course there was also the fact that Mistress R told me that if I wanted her to continue to control my cock, then I had to do it.
Further to that, I said to Mistress R that there's also another dimension to it, that even though I'm not really her 'slave' as such, I still do have something of that mentality. As such I really do want to be my best for her, I want her to feel like I am worth 'having'.
I am certainly not doing this with the view to being attractive to other women, I couldn't care less about other women. I would love for Mistress R to feel proud that she has an attractive husband, and even prouder that she knew no other women could ever tempt him away from her. I feel that Mistress R has put up with a lot over the last ten years, regarding my weight gain and I would dearly love to compensate for that by being as 'hot' as I can get.
I'm 41, so the chances of me getting back to where I was when Mistress R met me are perhaps a little slim, since I had a completely flat stomach (not to mention 2 feet of hair!), I mean I would love to be totally ripped because I know Mistress R loves that kind of thing (she loves Schwarzenegger, and the 'Rock'...) but that may be a little ambitious. Still, at the very least I want to be another five stones lighter and ideally with the kind of body that means instead of getting up early to go to work in the morning, she can't help herself spending the first part of the day sucking my cock until I'm about to shoot... and then gets up and goes to work! Hahaha.
I know she loves me, but I want her to really 'fancy' me again too. She says she does of course, but if I was a stranger I know I wouldn't have a chance with her, and that fucking sucks!! Hopefully by Christmas I will be a lot closer to my goal and once I've shifted a lot of the weight I can concentrate more on weights and building my arms up and stuff.
Like I said, I'm not Mistress R's slave as such, but there is a part of me that would love to be more of a slave than I am now. This will take time I know, and that's fine. But right now even if she doesn't think so, I feel like I must be dragging down her own self-image with my weight, and that if I was in shape that would reflect on her too, like she would see herself as more attractive because she was with a guy who wasn't out of shape and whatnot.
I think Mistress R is absolutely beautiful and I want to be with her until I die, but like most women she doesn't see how beautiful she is. I want to do anything I can to help her see how gorgeous she really is, because I want her to be happy and also because if she gets to realise how attractive she really is then maybe. eventually. she will start to believe that she deserves a little more of a slave than she has now... and that would be a wonderful thing for both of us I'm sure.